Successfully chased Dorigo to sleep. Good. I'll be able to cry in peace then.

Never thought that your words will hurt me so much. It's like a wound that will never be healed. Even if it really heals one day, the scar will still run deep. Thinking back of the events on that day still brings tears to my eyes. What did I do to deserve such treatment? Am I not one of your flesh and blood too? Your mouth always says that you love me as much as you love the rest, but sorry. I can't seem to see the fairness in it. Unwanted am I? If that's the case, why even bother giving birth to me? I think I'll be much happier in Heaven. I know how much you wanted a boy. But what makes you think I chose to be a girl? You even brought me up like a boy. What more do you want? For me to go for a sex-change operation? Will you be happier then? I'm terribly tired with everything. Just stop trying to get into my life when you are the one who first abandoned me when he came out. Stop prying. Stop suspecting. Stop trying to tighten the rein you think you have around me. Because you are the one who cut off the rope around me with your own bare hands. It was not me who drifted, it was you. You never did spare a thought for my feelings did you? Nasty words directed at me seems to fly off your mouth all the time. I am after all your daughter too. Why must I get such treatment? I really envy others around me. Yes, I might not know what situations they face in their families but at the very least, I'm sure their mums will not treat them the way you treat me. Don't ever bother to mend the gap between us. It's meant to be there. You were the one who put the distance between us in the very first place. You never did notice anything about me do you? Well, and to think that you call yourself my 'mum'. I will not get hurt by any of your words anymore. Even if I do, I will never show my emotions in front of you. Because you are a heartless creature. Yes, that is truthfully what I think of you. And I so do hope you will get to read this. Then you will finally understand why I'm so sure that you don't love me at all. I'm not afraid to hurt you. Since you are so heartless, some nasty words from me will not do much harm. Right?

trying desperately to sleep. but the feeling of peace won't come.