you can call me MR AWESOME.

Friday, September 07, 2007

06.09.07 at St. James.

Ian and me!

Me. After a few glasses.

Yes, I went clubbing yesterday. To be exact, it's from the 5th to the 6th of September. Since I clubbed until 4 am the next morning. Yeah. In a nut shell, I got badly drunk, vomited like a merlion, and thank God for Ian. Hahas. Want the gist of everything? Here goes.

I reached St. James Power House at 11. 30pm on the 5th of September. Met up with Aaron first, and got ushered in. Saw Andy, Grace, Ian and some other people. Was following Aaron around the club and all. He was more safe to be with in the beginning. Then when Ah Bee, Rhian, Keke, James and Sabrina came, Jin Hong and his friends came too. Yes, Zhu Jin Hong from JOL. Imagine my shock when I saw him there. Hahas. Anyways, danced like crazy to vent my frustrations. Namely, Mr Ross-what's-his-name. Drank a total of (roughly) 2 jugs? Mixture of cranberry juice, vodka, Chivas, hennessy, coke and green tea. Plus a pinch of Tiger beer. Courtesy of Aaron. It was a bad combination! I got super high initially. Dirty danced with Rhian (sorry babe!) and Ian had to protect me. Eventually, the highness wore off and I got drunk. I kept on wanting to sleep. Eventually, Ian had to send me home. Thank God he was there, or else I would have to walk home. Yes, Aaron himself, the guy who brought me there, was wasted! He knocked out and vomited badly. He even almost fought with Andy. My last memory? Shards of glass littered the place, Ah Bee comforting Aaron and Andy. Ian asking me if I am ok. After that, I was wasted. Hahas. Vomited in the cab, think Ian was used to it. He prepared the plastic baggie for me even. Yeah. Went home, got scolded. Vomited even more, bathed and went to sleep. Woke up with a uber bad hangover. Until now, I still want to vomit. Bad huh? Sigh.

I hate getting drunk. I can remember my vomit. It was like, red! (cranberry juice, remember?) Gosh, super bad memory. Yeah. I know, I kinda stink at drinking. I can't stop thanking Ian. Cause he was like, protecting me from the 'forces of evil' last night. Hahas. Eventually, following him was safer. Cause Aaron went mad on the drinks. Ian! Thanks again! (:

Topic aside, I suddenly thought about the topic of trust. To me, trusting someone means giving away a portion of your life to that person. I have given God a 100%, and another someone at least 90%, Lizzie has 80%! Yupp. You know what hurts most? Someone you trust betraying your trust. It's like a stab into your heart, and that wound leaves behind a scar to haunt you. Reminding you that you have been betrayed before. Saying that trusting someone is dangerous. And that scar will do everything to make you close up to the people around you. Depression seeps in. Yes, I have been through that situation. That's why I guard my heart. Don't blame me. Cause the scars on my heart haunt me.

Sweetheart, don't betray that trust. I know you have not been totally honest with me at times, and I hope you will reciprocate the trust I placed in you. I have been totally honest with you, and I know you won't hurt me. I love and trust you.

I won't be sleeping tonight. Yawn. PANDA EYES IS THE NEW BLACK! xD

Labels: bunch of crap-shit

★ I'm AWESOME
4:17 AM

Sunday, July 29, 2007

I don't need to defend myself.

Well, thanks for the concern Mr/Ms 'offended', but I think I know how to behave like a CHILD OF GOD better than you. Oh. And I'm happily SINGLE now, please don't make stupid assumptions. Honestly, spamming someone's blog is a very childish action. To do so without leaving the name is even more so. But nevertheless, I'm really touched that you even bother to read my blog. Thanks for the attention. I appreciate it. May God bless you too.

Service was super duper today! Deliverance with Pastor Mike Connell, WOW. Words can't describe the experience. Hahas. Dinner was late with the Cellgroup at Bedok, and honestly, I'm still hungry! Yupp. I'm a big eater. Hahas. I've just reached home at such a late time. And I have to wake up early tomorrow. Man, I need my wake up calls.

Food for thought. The blogosphere is vast. Spammers are just childish people seeking for attention. Because they are lonely? Or that their social life is too quiet? Hmms. Whatever the answer is, I don't care! Attention seekers can go to Xia Xue's blog and at least there they can gain their 'one minute of fame'. That's just what I feel. (:

I'm going to behave myself and not flame anyone anymore. NOT!

Labels: bunch of crap-shit

Tuesday, July 24, 2007

damage's done.

Angst:

my knuckles all turned red. but they just won't bleed.

With the peace of God:

Yeah. I punched the wall. Kinda regretted. Man, the demon of self-mutilation must be cast out! Was super pissed so punched the wall. Then God's peace just washed over me, and I regained my composure. Hence, the plasters. Yupp. Anyways, cooled down alot already. Thanks Abba Father. For the peace and understanding. I mean, he suffered the after effects of what I call, Karma. And I should give the poor guy a break. Yeah. Wells, won't be sleeping tonight. So get ready for a hyper active Prisca Lai tomorrow. You've been warned. (:

Labels: bunch of crap-shit

Monday, July 16, 2007

in school.

Hahas. I skipped school today. But I'm in school, like at this goodness-me-gracious time. Honestly, I wanted to go for lecture, like a good little girl. But couldn't make it. Cause I'm super late! Sigh.

Just saw Dorigo's blog. And his crazy bombarded tag-box. It's SO hilarious man! Hahas. Those cowards who dares to spam his blog but don't dare to say their names out are really stupid. Though I have to admit, they provide good 'entertainment' for Dorigo. Hahas. One of them even said I suck. COME ON! If I suck that much, no one will even be bothered to reply me on Dorigo's tag-box right? Attention seekers, go GET A LIFE. If you don't know how, then join us for church every Saturday at 5pm, Expo Hall 8. I'll be more than happy to help you poor dears. (:

Drama practices for Crossroads later at City Hall. Accounting class test this Wednesday. I need to re-plan my schedule and all, MAJORLY!

Ciao.

Labels: bunch of crap-shit

Tuesday, May 22, 2007

All Because Of You.

Want to but I can't help it.

I love the way you feel.

Just kinda stuck between my fantasy and what is real.

I need it when I want it.

I want it when I don't.

Tell myself I stop everyday,

Knowing that I won't.

I got a problem and I (don't know what to do about it),

Even if I did I don't know if I would quit but I doubt it.

I'm taking by the thought of it.

And I know this much is true,

Baby you,

Have become my addiction.

I'm so strung out on you,

I can barely move.

But I like it.

And it's all because of you (all because of you),

And it's all because of you (all because of you).

And it's all because,

Never get enough,

She's the sweetest drug.

Think of it every second.

I can't get nothing done.

Only concern is the next time I'm gon' get me some.

Know I should stay away from,

Cause it's no good for me.

I try and try but my obsession won't let me leave.

I got a problem and I (don't know what to do about it),
Even if I did I don't know if I would quit but I doubt it.

I'm taking by the thought of it.

And I know this much is true,
Baby you,
Have become my addiction.
I'm so strung out on you,
I can barely move.
But I like it.
And it's all because of you (all because of you),
And it's all because of you (all because of you),
And it's all because of you (all because of you).
And it's all because,
Never get enough,
She's the sweetest drug.

Ain't no doubt.

So strung out.

Ain't no doubt.

So strung out.

Over you,

Over you.

Because of you.

And it's all because of you.

Never get enough,

She's the sweetest drug.

This is my song of the week. (:

Labels: bunch of crap-shit

Thursday, May 03, 2007

sick. real sick.

God. I'm really sick already. Vomited just now. I know I need rest. But I don't want to. I choose not to. Call me mad, but this is me. Ha.

It's amazing how much I saw in you in just this short span of a few days. I know how much I mean to you. Finally. You should have more guts to say it to my face though. I would have coped with the revelation better this way. But at least I found out. And place the final killing blow into my heart to make it stop. Cut away all emotions. Let the blood flow. The tears running down my face formed a puddle on the floor. But I won't cry anymore. Cause I can't. I used up my tears supply for today.

Some things are better left unsaid. My heart understands. My mind understands. Just that I don't. Silence is golden. Ah. Bask in the solitude. A rare gift from God to me. After so long. Thanks daddy. Really. I have never felt so liberated before. Free. (:

Loneliness sticks to me like glue. I ought to be used to this feeling already. But I'm not. Guess I still have alot to learn yeah? Hahas. I wanna drink! -teary eyes. Though I'm so sick. Better not. It'll be a waste of money. I'll just vomit everything out eventually. Sigh. Never mind. I'll still head down to Liquid Kitchen. It's my new hot spot. <3.

the pieces of my heart are missing you / keep holding on

Labels: bunch of crap-shit

the anger that blows it's top

I'm so pissed now, I could blow up a Lamborghini in front of my polytechnic. Or anywhere. Argh. I'm not to be blamed! God, how can such unreasonable people exist? Ah! I just want to scream my head off, beat up a person, go jogging in the rain, smash a laptop, do all of the above. ARGH!

I hate it most when people lie to me. Especially those who know it and do so repeatably. You know who you are. And you know the reason why I'm so pissed. Screw you. To think I treated you so well. Who am I to you? Forget it. You lost the trust I gave you. Don't expect me to trust you ever again. Trust is earned. Go figure.

Whatever. I'm going for drinks at the Liquid Kitchen. Any takers?

i don't entertain losers / stay away from me

Labels: bunch of crap-shit

Thursday, April 26, 2007

the first time for everything

The first week of school went past pretty fast. I have to retake the 5 subjects and I'm taking 2 semester 2.1 subjects. So my schedule has tight and lax moments. So far, school is cool. Just plain cool. I've changed my class and all. So it's a new beginning and it's a totally new environment for me. Hahas. Saw many faces! Woon Cheng, Derek, Edric, Mei Ting, Delphin, and Shi Jin. A mixture of primary, secondary and polytechnic friends. Oh. And cellgroup friend. Hahas.

I can still cope with my studies and juggle family matters. Praise the Lord, grandfather is feeling very much better than last time. Yuppx. Hopefully, he's able to be discharged soon and spend time with us. And take a family portrait. With my cousin Michelle's baby! Then we'll be a 4 generation family! 'si dai tong tang'! (:

Had a really bad quarrel with my mum today. As usual. Skipped Business Statistics and went to Pasir Ris beach to calm myself down. Surprisingly, the beach is much dirtier now. Worst, there's an awful stench that made me keep my distance, though my emotions eventually calmed down. Hahas. I never fail to go there when I'm down. And it did me alot of good. I was thinking about alot of matters. Family, school, church, relationships, etc. Developed a splitting headache in the end but at least, I sorted out my thoughts. Many stuff confuse me. Why did I make those decisions initially, what exactly went wrong, am I totally at fault, etc. Sigh. Messed up life.

the 7 deadly sins / envy

Labels: bunch of crap-shit

Friday, April 20, 2007

die and go to heaven

I have been through countless depressed moments but nothing has ever hit me as hard as it did today. God, I had to psyche myself to stop this nonsense. The spiltting headache in my head now is the aftermath of everything. Sigh. I have seen enough. I've had it with you all. This is the final straw. Ungrateful people. Cold blooded people. I just hate you all. How I wish you all were never in my life. Argh.

Current body status:
Spiltting headache.
Neck strains.
Slashed arm.
God, I'm a wreck.

Bad news. I'll have to re-take my semester 2 this year. Which means, I'll be lagging behind others by half a year. D*mnit! Why didn't I just study harder for my semester 2 exams?! Argh. This is getting very, how do I put it, irritating for me. Sigh. So screwed up.

Life is getting worst for me. As if the current events ain't bringing me down. All the new additions are not welcomed. Gosh. How good will it be if I can just die now.

stressed out / hiding behind that broken mirror

Labels: bunch of crap-shit

Sunday, April 15, 2007

love don't live here anymore

It's official. We broke up. After 9 months and 14 days of love, it just ended like that. The future holds many possibilities. We may get back, we may not. It all depends on my heart and his heart. Thank you for everything Dorigo. Really. Everything you did touches my heart deeply and I will never forget you.

Grandfather is fine already. Just a little mentally unstable. Honestly! He keeps on thinking that someone will steal his towel. I mean, who is the right mind will steal towels?! Yeah. But these few days he seems very drowsy. Even when we try to call him up, he has no response. Even when the doctor tried to put the drip in for him! I mean, this is SERIOUS. But the doctors say that it is due to his medication. Hopefully, he will get well soon. By faith, I believe. (:

After everything, I'm feeling kinda lost. Honestly, I don't know why, but this feeling stuck to me like glue. Maybe it's the uneasiness of not receiving his messages, or the sorrow of my grandfather's suffering. I do not know. Just confused and, lost.

lost in a whirl of colors ;

Labels: bunch of crap-shit

Monday, April 02, 2007

emotions running wild

Did I hear you right?

Cause I thought you said

Let's think it over

You have been my life

And I never planned

Growing old without you

Shadows bleeding through the light

Where the love once shined so bright

Came without a reason

Don't let go on us tonight

Love's not always black and white

Haven't I always loved you?

But when I need you

You're almost here

And I know that's not enough

And when I'm with you

I'm close to tears

'cause you're only almost here

I would change the world

If I had a chance

Oh won't you let me

Treat me like a child

Throw your arms around me

Oh please protect me

Bruised and battered by your words

Dazed and shattered, now it hurts

Oh, haven't I always loved you?

But when I need you

You're almost here

And I know that's not enough

And when I'm with you

I'm close to tears

'cause you're only almost here

Bruised and battered by your words

Dazed and shattered, now it hurts

Haven't I always loved you?

But when I need you

You're almost here
Well I never knew how far behind I'd left you

And when I hold you

You're almost here

Well I'm sorry that I took our love for granted

And now I'm with you

I'm close to tears

Cause I know I'm almost here

Only almost here

Labels: bunch of crap-shit

Wednesday, March 07, 2007

up[dating].

I really don't know how to bring myself to blog anymore. Things are getting from bad to worst. Not between my baby and me though. It's my life in general. Those who are close to me, will know what exactly is going on. But not all the details are told. Decipher me and my words. Then will you know the story behind this face.

New Year was pretty havoc. I went to this penthouse owned my my baby's dad's friend. Uploading the pictures now. Hahas. Time to feast your eyes on them! And on the last day of CNY, which is the fifteen day, I went for dinner with my baby and his family. Hahas. Dorina's dressing on that day was really weird. My baby called her a 'selling beer babe'. I was speechless. I don't know what to say about her outfit. Though it really looked like what my baby described it as. Yuppx. But it's only once. So I guess it doesn't matter much. Yeah.

This is for someone who has made a significant impression in my life. I won't forget you. Not for the good you did. But for the hurts you inflicted. Thank you for everything. I won't be meeting you anymore. Not ever again. Even if you appear on my doorstep. I'm adamant about this. I can't be soft-hearted anymore. I'm sorry. It's best if our friendship is ended this way. Thank you again. Good-bye.

vindicated / losing control

Labels: bunch of crap-shit

Tuesday, February 27, 2007

unspoken thoughts.

Changed my blog picture again. Out of my sudden inspiration. Guess I watched 'Step Up' too much already. Yeah.

Feeling very extremely tired all of a sudden. It's like a huge vacuum just sucked the life out of me. I'm walking around like a zombie. And I guess it doesn't sound too good. Exams are a chore. Mugging is like part of my everyday life already. In case you didn't know, I haven't been to school for the past 3 [or 4?] months. Even as I pick up my books now, I don't understand a thing. It's like learning a foreign language to me. Argh. F*ck those who made my life so miserable in poly. F*ck you all, damn it. If you think you have finally pushed me down, you're SO WRONG. I'm not gonna be pushed down just like that. Worst, not by such a f*cker like you. Ha. I'm stronger than you know. Biatch.

Spent a lot of my time stoning and thinking about the past. What I have done wrong and what stupid decisions I've made. Church, family, relationship, friends, school, cellgroup, basically everything. I know, I'm dumb. Renaissancing about the past is so NOT Prisca Lai. But I did it. Guess people change over a period of time and under circumstances with influence from their environment. Maybe this change is good. Maybe it's bad. Whatev. I'm not gonna bother with it. Stone, stone, stone, stone, stone. Scissors, paper, stone. Ok, ok. The mugging has turned me insane. STONE~

Stop being so selfish you jerk. Only caring about yourself and not others. I don't give a f*ck about you anymore. Love and hate is paper thin. Don't make me do what I don't want to. F*cker.

random shouts / bottled up inside me

Labels: bunch of crap-shit

Sunday, February 18, 2007

Happy Lunar New Year!

Damn. This is one bloody CNY. What Year of the Pig crap. The only pig I know is my darling Piggy. Yeah.

Reunion dinner was supposed to start at 5, [as said by my parents], and I came back by 5.30pm thinking everyone was ready to set off no matter how reluctant we were. Cause this is a once-in-a-year crap shit. And it's not on my top priority list. Eventually, something confidential happened and I was in a fuming mood by the time I reached my aunt's place in Paya Lebar. The first thing that made me pissed was that my aunt's golden retriever, Bobby started masturbating on my left leg. I mean, WHAT THE HECK WAS THAT?! It was SERIOUSLY freaking me out, I kept my distance from the dog the whole night. Despite being a dog lover. Yeah.

Dinner time? The atmosphere was so full of hypocrisy that I almost puked my dinner out. And honestly, the dinner sucks so much, I won't eat those food even if you gave me a million bucks. And [surprise, surprise!] my eldest uncle's family showed up fashionably late and claimed they've eaten. Come on, if you're not here for the food, that means you're here for the juicy gossip details. F*ckingly ask me then. Damn it.

Come on, if all you gossipers and nothing-to-do aunties want to know something, ask it to my face. Don't bug my parents and expect them to spill. And if they are tight-lipped, don't say I have something to hide. Cause I don't. Just f*ckingly gather up the miserable bit of courage you have and ask me face to face. Cowards.

Argh. Very pissed now. The topic of the night?
1) Growing ever-popular poly-going-to-uni student.
2) [hottest gossip!] The almost-school-dropout.
3) The Tall Bangala.
No prizes for who represents who. Yawn.

Church with mom tomorrow morning. Ciao. Anywhoo, a very Happy Chinese New Year. Hope your CNY eve didn't suck as mine did.

Labels: bunch of crap-shit